8 Things Your Therapist Wishes You Knew
Starting therapy can feel a little like standing at the edge of a diving board, you know you want to jump in, but your mind races with questions.
“What do I even say?”
“What if I cry?”
“What if I don’t click with my therapist?”
If you’ve ever felt that way, you’re not alone. So many people come to therapy unsure of what to expect, worried about saying the “wrong” thing, or wondering if they’re doing it right. (Spoiler: there’s no wrong way to begin.)
At Be A Problem Solver Services, we want you to feel comfortable, informed, and supported every step of the way. Whether it’s your first session or your fiftieth, here are eight things your therapist wishes you knew about the process of healing and growth.
1. You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to rehearse what to say or have a clear “goal” for therapy on day one. So many clients start with, “I’m not even sure why I’m here….” That’s a perfectly valid starting point.
Therapy is a process of discovery. Sometimes, what brings you in isn’t the same thing you end up working on, and that’s okay. Your therapist’s job is to help you explore your thoughts, feelings, and patterns, and to help you make sense of them at your own pace.
2. You can say anything.
No topic is off-limits in therapy. Whether it’s anger, shame, fear, guilt, or something you’ve never said out loud before, your therapist isn’t here to judge you, they’re here to help you understand why those thoughts or feelings exist and what to do with them.
Even silence is okay. Some sessions might be full of words; others might just be quiet space to breathe, reflect, or feel. BAPS therapist Jessica McMains, LCMHCA, shares, “You don’t have to hold anything back here. Therapy works best when you say the stuff you usually keep to yourself.”
3. Progress isn’t always visible.
Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. Some sessions might feel productive and energizing; others might leave you feeling heavy or uncertain. Both are part of the work.
Think of therapy like physical training for your mind. Some days you lift heavier. Some days you rest. BAPS Therapist, Alyssa Anderson, LCMHCA, notes, “Change isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s just noticing that something that used to knock you down doesn’t hit as hard anymore.” That’s progress, even if it’s subtle.
4. You’re not being analyzed every second.
One of the most common misconceptions about therapy is that therapists are constantly “reading” you. Spoiler: “We’re not sitting here decoding your every move or how you’re sitting on the couch,” says BAPS Therapist, Jess Ricks, LCMHCA. “We’re just trying to understand what life feels like for you.”
We’re human, too, and while we do notice patterns and cues, our main focus is understanding your story. We’re thinking about what you’ve shared, what might help next, and how to support you best. Therapy is about collaboration, not scrutiny.
5. You’re allowed to outgrow your therapist.
Therapy is a relationship, one built on trust, respect, and shared goals. And like any relationship, it can evolve. Sometimes, clients reach a point where they’ve met their goals or need a new type of support. Sometimes therapy runs its course, and that’s a good thing. It means you’ve grown, not that you’ve failed.
It’s okay to talk about that. Ending therapy doesn’t mean failure; it means you’ve learned, healed, and grown. Some clients take breaks and come back later in new seasons of life. Therapy is a tool you can return to whenever you need it.
6. You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve support.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis or a diagnosis to start therapy. You don’t need to be “sick enough.” Therapy is for anyone who wants to better understand themselves, improve relationships, or find healthier ways to cope.
In fact, early support can prevent problems from escalating. If you’ve ever thought, “Other people have it worse,” try replacing that thought with, “Everyone deserves care, including me.” Your struggles matter, even if they don’t feel “big enough.”
7. It’s okay if you don’t click right away.
Therapeutic connection takes time. You don’t have to instantly feel 100% comfortable. It’s normal to need a few sessions to build trust and rhythm. The first few appointments are about getting to know each other and finding your footing.
Brittany Starbuck, LCSW, says, “It is okay to give your therapist feedback. We are professionals and knowledgeable but you are the expert on what feels right for you. Open communication creates space for a deeper understanding and relationship between Client and Therapist which often turns into more meaningful outcomes in therapy.”
And if after a few sessions it still doesn’t feel like the right fit? That’s okay too. Therapists want you to find someone who truly helps you thrive, even if that means it’s not them. We won’t take it personally. “We want to know what is helpful and if we are doing something that isn't helpful.
Every Client relationship is different and as Therapists we want to meet everyone where they are but that requires honesty and transparency,” says Brittany.
8. You’re already doing something brave.
Reaching out for help takes courage. Walking through the door is the hardest part. It means you’re willing to face yourself, your emotions, and your patterns. It means you care about your wellbeing.
Benjamin Brown, LCMHCA, mentions, “Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about understanding you. It’s about learning new ways to handle life, to connect with others, and to care for yourself with compassion. Every time you show up, you’re doing something brave.”
A Final Note
If you’re starting therapy, remember: you don’t have to be perfect, ready, or certain. You just have to be willing. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, it happens slowly, with curiosity, honesty, and patience.
Your therapist isn’t expecting perfection, they’re walking beside you as you find your way back to yourself.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
At Be A Problem Solver Services, our therapists specialize in helping children, teens, and adults navigate anxiety, ADHD, executive functioning challenges, family stress, and the everyday ups and downs of life. Whether you’re seeking therapy for yourself, your child, or your family, our team offers a compassionate, nonjudgmental space to begin.
Learn more or request an appointment at www.beaproblemsolverservices.com
Offices in Cary, Chapel Hill, and Fuquay Varina, NC