3 Tips For Co-Regulating

April 18, 2022

What is Co-Regulation?
Co-Regulation is defined as a parent's support of their child's emotional development through motivational or emotional scaffolding, and using strategies to help their child regulate emotions (Gulsrud et al., 2010).

To put it in action, follow these action steps:

1) Calm The Environment

  • Use kind, gentle, calm words (i.e. "I see you're frustrated buddy. I'm here.")
  • Take a step back (i.e. take a break when you need to).
  • Belly breathing (i.e. watch your chest and belly - ideally your belly should rise for a count of 6)
  • Calming corner (i.e. soft, safe area, gentle music, etc.)
  • Organization and preparedness (i.e. not scrambling, rushing to the next activity)

2) Listen with Empathy and Respond Gently

  • Use a feelings detector (i.e. "if I were to wave a magnifying glass up and down your body, where would I find the feeling?)
  • Empathize with their emotions (i.e. "I see you're feeling scared...")
  • Validate their experience (i.e. "It's ok to be scared...")

3) Teach Skills and Boundaries

  • Join them in talking about their struggles
  • Normalize their experience
  • Coaching, modeling, problem solving

How Can It Come Undone?
The following typically will undue any progress:

  • Yelling
  • Sreaming
  • Spanking
  • Threatening
  • Insulting
  • Talking Too Much


Would You Like Further Help?
Please contact us for additional information and support.



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