July 2025: The Missing Piece: How Executive Functioning Shapes Your Child’s Success
This month, we’re taking a deep dive into how EMDR therapy can help children heal from trauma. In next month's blog post, we'll explore how play therapy also plays a vital role in supporting children who’ve experienced traumatic events. Stay tuned for Part 2 in August, where we’ll discuss the unique benefits of play therapy in helping children process their emotions and regain a sense of security.
As a parent, it’s incredibly difficult to watch your child struggle with the emotional aftermath of trauma. Whether it’s from a single traumatic event or a series of ongoing experiences, childhood trauma can profoundly impact a child's emotional health, relationships, and overall development. We understand the challenges parents face when their children have experienced trauma, and we are here to offer support and healing through therapy and specialized approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
What is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma refers to experiences that overwhelm a child's ability to cope. These events can leave children feeling helpless and unsafe. Common sources of trauma include:
Trauma doesn’t always look the way we expect. Children often internalize their trauma differently than adults, so they may act out in ways that don’t immediately connect to the event they experienced. These behaviors can include irritability, withdrawal, poor academic performance, or trouble with emotional regulation.
How Common is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma is more prevalent than many realize. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), over two-thirds of children report experiencing at least one traumatic event by age 16. Additionally, at least 1 in 7 children experience abuse or neglect annually in the U.S.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also reports that nearly two-thirds of U.S. adults experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE), such as abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction, before the age of 18.
How Trauma Affects Children
Trauma has a powerful impact on a child's brain and body. When a child experiences something traumatic, their brain can become “stuck” in a state of high alert. This is the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, which is triggered when danger is perceived. Over time, children may develop patterns of anxiety, anger, or depression as they attempt to cope with the trauma. Unfortunately, the trauma doesn't just disappear on its own. Left untreated, it can lead to lasting mental health challenges, including:
In addition to the well-known fight, flight, or freeze responses, there's another trauma reaction that is becoming more widely recognized: the fawn response. This response is often overlooked because it can look like passive behavior, but it is a critical survival mechanism. The fawn response is when a child (or adult) prioritizes the needs of others, often at their own expense, in an attempt to avoid conflict, gain approval, or protect themselves from harm. Children exhibiting the fawn response may become overly compliant, people-pleasing, or suppress their own needs and emotions to keep the peace.
While fight and flight responses are more outwardly visible (aggression or avoidance), the fawn response can appear as passivity or appeasement. This behavior is especially common in children who have experienced relational trauma, such as abuse or neglect, where pleasing others becomes a survival strategy.
How Childhood Trauma Shapes Our Parenting and Family Dynamics
Childhood trauma doesn’t just affect the child; it can deeply influence how parents respond and engage with their children. The experiences we carry from our own childhoods often shape the way we parent, sometimes unknowingly perpetuating generational trauma. This cycle can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to break the pattern and effectively support their child’s emotional needs. For instance, you might find yourself trying to calm a fussy baby, yet an internal voice whispers, “I’m a bad parent,” stirring feelings of guilt and inadequacy. This reaction could stem from past experiences of feeling unsupported or criticized as a child. Similarly, a toddler’s tantrum may trigger a fight-or-flight response, where the overwhelming stress and loss of control mirror trauma-related feelings from your own early years. Or, when an older child slams a door in frustration, you may feel an intense wave of rage, an emotional reaction that seems disproportionate to the situation, yet it could be rooted in unhealed emotional wounds from your own childhood.
Recognizing how our past experiences shape our parenting is a crucial first step in healing. By addressing our own trauma, we can better support our children’s emotional development, creating a healthier, more supportive environment for both ourselves and our families. If you're struggling with how your own past is affecting your parenting, therapy can be a transformative tool, not just for your child, but for you as well.
Therapy as a Pathway to Healing
Therapy provides a safe, nurturing space for children to begin to process their traumatic experiences. It’s important to remember that therapy is not just about “talking through” the trauma; it’s about providing the right tools for children to express and understand their emotions in a healthy way.
At Be A Problem Solver Services, we specialize in trauma-informed therapy, which ensures that our approach is sensitive to the impact of trauma on a child's mental and emotional health. This approach recognizes that trauma affects each child differently and requires a tailored therapeutic plan to meet their unique needs.
What is EMDR Therapy?
One of the most effective therapies we offer for trauma recovery is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR is a powerful, evidence-based therapy that helps children process traumatic memories and reduce the distress associated with those memories. It works by using bilateral stimulation, typically through eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones, to help the brain reprocess trauma and integrate these memories in a healthier way.
EMDR doesn’t require children to relive the trauma or verbally recount the details, which is particularly helpful for those who have difficulty talking about their experiences. Instead, the therapy helps rewire the brain’s response to traumatic memories, making them less intense and easier to manage. In fact, 1 hour of EMDR can be equivalent to 6 hours of traditional talk therapy, due to its ability to process trauma more efficiently. This makes it a powerful tool for children, allowing them to heal faster and more effectively without the need for lengthy verbal recounting of painful memories.
Why EMDR Works for Children
The Process of EMDR
The process of EMDR follows an eight-phase protocol that begins with building trust and understanding the individual's history. The therapist then guides the individual through various phases of reprocessing, allowing them to gradually revisit traumatic memories in a safe and controlled way. Over time, these memories lose their emotional intensity and become easier for the individual to manage.
As be A Problem Solver’s therapist, Jessica McMains, shares, “After experiencing one session of EMDR, I noticed that I had more patience with my own kids.” This highlights how EMDR can help parents process their own trauma, leading to greater emotional regulation and patience in their relationships with their children.
It’s important to note that while EMDR is a powerful tool, it’s not the only approach we use in our practice. We believe in using a holistic, individualized approach to therapy, combining different techniques to help children heal in the most effective way possible.
Our Practice's Commitment to Trauma Recovery
We are deeply committed to providing trauma-informed care to all our clients. We know that trauma affects not only the child but the entire family. That’s why we offer family therapy sessions and parent consultations, to ensure that you feel supported throughout the healing process. We believe that healing from trauma is possible, and with the right tools and support, children can regain their sense of security, confidence, and joy.
How We Can Help
If your child has experienced trauma, or if you suspect they may be struggling with the effects of past traumatic events, therapy can help. At Be A Problem Solver Services, we specialize in working with children and families to overcome trauma using a range of therapeutic techniques, including EMDR. We understand that every child's journey to healing is unique, and we are here to help guide you every step of the way.
If you're ready to take the first step in helping your child heal from trauma, we encourage you to reach out to our practice. We're here to listen, support, and provide the expert care your child needs to thrive. Contact us today to schedule an appointment or consultation.
Free Emotional Wheel: A Helpful Tool for Trauma Recovery
A Wheel of Emotions is a visual tool that helps individuals identify and understand their feelings by categorizing emotions into broader sections, with more specific emotions listed within each category.
For children who have experienced trauma or are in therapy, it can be especially helpful in pinpointing and expressing complex emotions that may be hard to articulate. Trauma often leaves children feeling overwhelmed, and the emotional wheel provides a simple way to recognize and name their feelings. By using this tool, children can build emotional literacy, which is crucial for processing trauma and improving communication. It empowers them to better understand and manage their emotions, supporting their healing journey. We've created our own Wheel of Emotions for you to download and print, free of charge, so you can start using it at home to support your child's emotional growth.
Offices in Cary, Chapel Hill, and Fuquay Varina, NC